Let’s explore how slowing down, having deep relationships, and living in community are key to our health and longevity. These are all wonderfully interconnected but we have drifted away from them in North America. The good news is that we can all take steps to bring them to the forefront in our lives.
In our modern world, we have so many stimulants and stressors that our brains are being hyper-stimulated. The world is chaotic. And this is making us sick. But societies that are calmer and have less stimulation are living longer, healthier and happier lives. How can we bring that simplicity back to our lives? Deep relationships, mindfulness, and community.
Being chaotic and stressed stimulates our sympathetic (high-stress mode) nervous system. This puts us in constant fight or flight response and that shuts down thought and makes us take less risk. It increases our hormones and creates a physical response in our body. Unfortunately healing takes place when we are in a state of repair or low-stress mode. So, how do we lower our chaos and stress? Deep relationships, mindfulness, and community.
Taking a break to settle ourselves and focus on our breath is key to handling stressful situations. But we need more than that. We need a lifestyle that is conducive to slowing down and spending time with friends and family. We need communities that still gather. And we need to participate.
It can be helpful to take a look at countries that have a high happiness index like Costa Rica. They’re interested in living a big life and their culture perpetuates this. They are focused more on day-to-day joy, interactions with family, interactions with community, and food. The towns are tranquil and the people aren’t stressed. They solve issues peacefully and living is peaceful, smooth and blessed.
They slow down. They connect. They play.
In parts of Japan it is still very common to bring the communities together, to spend time together. They invite not just their own family but also the rest of their neighbors even if they’re strangers.
In Greece, they have collective values. They are interested in and work towards the health of their communities. They gather, are intergenerational and authentic – they all dance and have fun together.
We are social creatures and need to have people that hold space for us. That is how deep relationships form, in that space. When we have these special people, we perform better and enjoy life more. Having friendship, community and tribe helps to keep us accountable and content and happy.
Prioritizing work over all else leads to a life of regret because there are only so many hours in the day and if you spend all of that time working, then you have to let something else go like important friendships. We need people to support and to support us and to know our true selves and hearts. These people generally aren’t in our workplace. This is how we avoid loneliness.
Can we even find this in North America?
Yes, but you may have to be more intentional about it. Even if you live in a fast paced, large city there are pockets of communities that you can form deep relationships in. Here are a few places to look.
- Churches today are still like this, members don’t just attend on Sundays but they often have mid-week experiences and small groups to help to form deeper relationships.
- Cultural centers would be a great way to make friends that share your values and they often have regular events.
- You can meet and spend time with your neighbors in community centers that can be hubs of activity where you can find your tribe based on whatever you are interested in.
- Seniors centers or groups for new parents will put you together with those in similar life stages.
Happy connecting.